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The year is 1950 A.D.
A law has been passed by the Government requiring that every couple that have been married for five years to have a child. If unable to achieve this, they may receive a visit from a Government man whose duty it is to take the necessary steps for the wife to become a mother. This morning in particular a baby photographer calls at the house not knowing the couple are childless. It is the morning of their fifth wedding anniversary.
| Husband | “Well goodbye dear I’m off to the office. I suppose the Government man will be here shortly.”(Leaves with a bowed head.) The wife pretties herself up and as she is powdering her nose, the doorbell rings. She is expecting the Government man but instead it is the photographer to talk to the Lady of the house about baby pictures. The following conversation takes place |
| Wife | “Oh good morning” |
| Man | “How do you do. Probably you don’t know who I represent …” |
| Wife | “Yes Yes. You need not explain Mr …” |
| Man | “Jones is the name Madam, and I make a speciality of …” |
| Wife | “Yes of course, I know. It’s quite alright. Take a seat” |
| Man | “Your Husband is quite agreeable of course” |
| Wife | “Oh yes we both agree it’s the best thing in the circumstances ” |
| Man | “In that case I might as well get busy ” |
| Wife | “I am not familiar with the way you do this. Just where do we start” |
| Man | “Just leave it to me Madam. I recommend one or two on this couch, two on the chair, two in the bath tub, and a couple on the floor.” |
| Wife | “Bath tub and on the floor. Good Gracious” |
| Man | “Well my dear Lady. Even the best of us cannot get a good one every time, but out of the six one is bound to be good” |
| Wife | “You’ll forgive me, but it does sound rather informal” |
| Man | “The charm of the whole thing is its informality Madam, Perhaps you would like to see some samples of my work”. |
| Wife | “Samples of your work! Well, I suppose so. After all, there’s no hurry is there?” |
| Man | “No indeed. In my line a man cannot do his best in a hurry” (opens album and shows it to her)”Look at this baby, isn’t that a good job. I took four hours over that but it’s a beauty” |
| Wife | “(Gulping) that seems rather a long time, but it’s lovely |
| Man | “But for tough assignments take a look at this one. Believe it or not, that one was done on top of a bus.” |
| Wife | “I’ve never heard of it done on top of a bus before” |
| Man | “It’s really not hard when you know how, and when a man in my line knows how; his work is really a pleasure,” Now here is one I did in Selfridges at high noon”. |
| Wife | But even Selfridges is rather public” |
| Man | Well there was a secret about it. The mother of the child was an actress: she needed a little publicity and BOY did she get it!”He turns the page and shows her a picture of the twins |
| Wife | “OH! TWINS!” |
| Man | “And the handsomest you ever saw”. “I knocked that job out in Hyde Park one snowy afternoon last winter”. |
| Wife | “My Goodness” |
| Man | “Yes Madam, it took me from two in the afternoon till five, I never worked under more difficult conditions –what with people four or five deep pushing and crowding to get a look “ |
| Wife | “People four or five deep?” |
| Man | “Yes people everywhere. Just imagine –more than three hours under a handicap like that. Two policemen helped me when things got difficult. I could have managed to get one or two more shots in, but the Squirrels started gnawing my equipment. Shall we get ready now?” |
THE WIFE THEN FAINTS
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